“The silence of the guns was like the voice of God.” – my friend Chris Santiago paraphrasing Kurt Vonnegut’s thoughts on Armistice Day.

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The actual quote is more powerful, yet not quite as lyrical:

“It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the Voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind.”

The silence was not like the voice of God…

…it was the voice of God.

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It is strange to me that World War One is the 20th century’s forgotten war. Do they even teach it in schools at all anymore? They barely touched on it when I was in school. It’s almost as if we have already decided as a species that it is better off unremembered – though I respectfully disagree with that decision.

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Winston Churchill on the “butchery” mentioned above: “All the horrors of the ages were brought together, and not only armies but whole populations were thrust into the midst of them…The wounded died between the lines: The dead mouldered into the soil. Merchant ships and neutral ships and hospital ships were sunk on the seas…Every effort was made to starve whole nations into submission…When all was over, torture and cannibalism were the only two expedients that the civilised, scientific Christian states had been able to deny themselves, and they were of doubtful utility.”

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The fact that the “civilised, scientific Christian state” that I call home nowadays regularly uses torture as a battle tactic confirms the fact that we have decided to forget the lessons our grandfather’s fathers tried to teach us

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The last cricket match to take place before Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated in Sarajevo took place in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, from 27 February through 3 March 1914 at St George’s Park – the same ground where 99 years later we all saw South Africa defeat Sri Lanka earlier today….

In 1914 the South Africa’s competition was not Sri Lanka, but England – and the visitors crushed their hosts by ten wickets thanks to a century for Phil Mead and devastating bowling from the whole of England’s bowlers: five South Africans got out in the single digits in their first innings; and eight fell for single digits in their second. If not for a 129 run opening partnership from South Africa’s Herbie Taylor and Billy Zulch in the second innings, the result would have been far more lopsided.

After Sir Jack Hobbs scored the 11 runs needed for the victory that Southern Hemisphere summer afternoon, there was no more cricket until long after the guns had fallen silent – December 1920 at the Sydney Cricket Ground to be exact.

In between Port Elizabeth and Sydney, there would be 9.7 million military deaths and 5.8 million civilian deaths (either directly or indirectly): nearly two percent of the world’s population.

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Among the dead were some of the cricketers who played in the Test match that Summer in Port Elizabeth:

Major Booth (England) scored 32 and took five wickets, including a 4-fer in the second innings, killed on 1 July 1916 in France – the opening day of the Somme offensive.

Reginald Hands (South Africa) scored seven total runs (0,7) in what would prove to be his one and only Test match, killed on the Western Front 20 April 1918.

Bill Lundie (South Africa) only scored one run in what would also be his one and only Test, but he did take 4-106 in the first innings while bowling into a strong wind, killed in Belgium 12 September 1917.

Claude Newberry (South Africa) scored 11 in the first innings and only one in the second, but he did take a wicket, breaking up the dangerous Mead-Woolley first innings partnership – killed 1 August 1916 in France.

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And that doesn’t begin to discuss those cricketers that played in that match, fought in the war, but were lucky enough to make it out alive – though very few of them would surely consider themselves “lucky” to have seen the horrors on the Western Front. Nor does it include the coaches and supporters and the ticket takers at the ground that day who fought and died in some foreign field nearly 6,000 miles from their homes.

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World War One has a lot to teach us – I am going to use cricket as a backdrop and try to learn as much as I can.

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Yesterday, Internet hero, Aaron Swartz, committed suicide in his NYC apartment. He was 26 years old.

As I was reading Cory Doctorow’s obituary of Aaron in my kitchen, the local indie rock station here in Minneapolis started playing Elliot Smith’s “Miss Misery“.

It is one of my favorite songs of all time, despite its unfortunate connection with Good Will Hunting.

You had plans for both of us
That involved a trip out of town
To a place I’ve seen in a magazine
That you left lying around

 

Elliot Smith, of course, committed suicide himself in 2003 when he was only 34 years old.

It was serendipity at its worst.

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I have never lost anyone close to me to suicide. A friend of a friend here, an acquaintance of an in-law there. But I find the news of someone’s suicide positively chilling. Whether they are an athlete, or a distant acquaintance, or a celebrity.

Local journalist, Larry Oaks, shot himself in the head few weeks ago. 52 years old, accomplished, a loving family – and yet things were so dark in his world that he saw no way out.

And that’s what I find chilling.

I have had hard times. I have gone weeks when I didn’t think I would ever see the sun again. Most of these days were before I met my wife, who pulled me out of all it 13 years ago; but in the last 18 months I have felt this awful tug of depression pulling at my sleeve. Like nighttime being dumped out of a sack onto a summer’s day.

But despite all of that, I have never even contemplated suicide. Ever. It has never really been an option. Not even close.

And so to even begin to imagine the level of darkness and misery a suicidal person needs to be experiencing in order to follow through with the act chills me to the bone. It’s incomprehensibly horrible what must exist in their minds.

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Cricket has a relationship with suicide. With depression. Though I think it is more tenuous than people think. Depression and suicide are epidemics in modern society – and they pervade all professions, not just cricket, but law and medicine and sales and everything else.

But the numbers do not lie. Over 150 professional cricketers have committed suicide. And ten times that number have been diagnosed with Depression or Anxiety. And ten times that number have probably suffered with undiagnosed versions of both afflictions.

Some say it is the nature of the game. That you only get so many chances. That you could wait for hours, days, to get into the crease and then fall to the first delivery you see. You could wait hours, days, in the field, for an opportunity for a catch, only to let the ball slip through your fingers.

But all sports have their pressures. And all sports have their suicide victims. But in cricket, players have fewer chances at redemption…maybe.

But it goes much deeper than the game they play. To think otherwise is to demean their deaths and the deaths of all the other suicide victims who didn’t play professional cricket.

Victims of suicide experience a darkness that none of us can possibly understand – and hopefully never will. It has nothing to do with getting out for a duck or a dropped catch – it is a disease that infects to the deepest core of its victims. And it is chilling and awful and tragic.

The only connection that exists in reality and in fact, is the connection between depression and retirement, forced or otherwise. When players leave a game that has been their entire life for 30 years, a very large part of them dies. Forever. Sometimes, athletes overcome that loss. Sometimes they do not.

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I had more I wanted to write here about cricket and Depression and suicide. But I think I said that all that needed to be said above: a darkness we will never understand.

Get help if you need it, everyone. Please.

I had been working on a long, statistically based, post on New Zealand’s Test batting history, but I came across a rather fundamental flaw in my data and was forced to scrap the entire project. Alas, I am now watching the Caribbean T20 and trying to think about something to write about.

This story regarding Pakistan jumped out at me. To sum it up, the ICC has left the future of international home matches up to the PCB and its relationship with other cricketing boards.

In other words, Pakistan has the very difficult task of convincing nations like England, Australia, and South Africa that their country is safe enough for their cricketers.

And while I feel for young Pakistani cricketers and for the whole of Pakistan’s fans, I understand the position of the ICC. I might not agree with it, but I get it: They cannot force other boards to send their cricketers to a country that cannot provide adequate assurances of their safety – it has to be done via individual negotiations with individual countries.

Interestingly, while Pakistan has not hosted a major international hockey tournament since 2004 (they were regular hosts beforehand), they have hosted an international football match: Bangladesh played a 2014 World Cup qualifying match in Lahore in July of 2011.

Of course, football is simply not the same marquee event in Pakistan as cricket is (only 3,500 attended the match), but it still is an international sporting match. In Pakistan. And yet somehow it seems Pakistan is a decade away from hosting international cricket matches again.

And that’s a shame. Because they are exciting and they are fun to watch and they are winning. It’s a shame that an entire generation of young cricketers are not able to watch their heroes play on their home soil against the best in the world. And it’s a shame that PCB is completely on its own in trying to rectify the situation. Why in the world would the ECB send its cricketers to Pakistan when Qatar is an option? No reason whatsoever. In fact, I see no reason why they would even sit down at the table to negotiate.

A commenter on the article gives the conspiracy theory that the boards of South and Australia…etc are avoiding going back to Pakistan for cricketing reasons. Simply put: they don’t want to play on the subcontinent. And while that might seem mildly fantastical, there is a lot of money to be made in winning cricket matches – sponsorships, attendance at home matches – and so it would hold that international boards would want to play as few matches under alien and difficult conditions as possible.

I’ll ask the question again: why in the world would South Africa play in Lahore when they could play in Dubai?

No reason whatsoever.

And that’s too bad.

Now, I was not on the Sri Lankan team bus that came under fire in 2009, and I was not in Mumbai in November 2008, and I am aware that it truly is dangerous for westerners in Pakistan right now (the US State Department’s Travel Warning reads like a horror novel), but if Bangladesh’s footballers can be safe, and if the PCB can provide safety assurances to the satisfaction of an international and independent board appointed by the ICC, then Pakistan should be allowed to host international matches, and the ICC should require all teams to play their series in Pakistan and not in the UAE.

As long as it is safe, the upsides are enormous. International matches in Pakistan are not just good for the sport in Pakistan, they are good for cricket the world over. And even more than that, they are good for Pakistan the country and Pakistan’s citizens.

It can’t be left to individual negotiations with individual states. The ICC needs to do more than guide the process. They need to direct it.

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This is the last in the informal series that has been: the Future of Test Cricket, but first of all, there was some great feedback on yesterday’s post from Russ at Idle Summers in the comments and from @paperstargirl on Twitter. Cheers.

Please know that these recent posts are not well researched and are not meant to be taken as gospel (not that anyone thought that, just hedging my bets here). I am more free associating than anything; just kind of seeing where the words take me, to see if I can come up with a conclusion to an incredibly complex problem.

That problem being: Test cricket.

To sum up: it’s dead, it’s alive, it’s different.

Now, finally: it’s local.

The one flaw in my “dream of the 1890s” post was that people who consider themselves part of that culture of chicken coops and home cured meats, also prefer locally owned business, and frown at global corporations. They want their cities to be walkable, and their sport to be regional at best.

They would be disgusted at 18 cricketers plus coaches and staff and fans flying thousands and thousands of miles in a carbon producing, energy wasting, all around filthy jumbo jet – all for a sporting event.

And while, again, Test cricket’s time may have come, Test cricket again is not ready.

In order for it to be ready, it needs to do what other businesses the world over have done: become hyper-local, as best as it can.

And this reason alone is why I feel that while Test cricket and first class cricket are here to stay and can reap the benefits of the cultural movement that wants to slow everything down, it cannot do so in its current incarnation. It needs to be broken apart like Ma Bell in the 50s in America. It needs to be regionalized. It needs to be franchised.

And it is already happening.

For example, Minneapolis has a thriving one day league that exists solely at the grass roots level. And while the league is mostly made up of ex-pats, I think that will change as more and more people become interested in the slow burn that is first class cricket.

And so now the future of first class cricket looks to me like the bastard love child of the County Championship, the Indian Premiere League, and the Minnesota Cricket Association.

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In fact, in a lot of ways, that looks like the future of sport overall.

And by “future” I don’t mean tomorrow, next week, or next year. I mean a generation from now.

People are longing for community and for local connectivity, despite our global village. And I think sport is going to respond to that desire – and cricket will be along for the ride.

Because I still believe Test cricket’s time has come.

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There are currently three domestic leagues receiving online coverage in the United States: The Big Bash League, the Ranji Trophy, and the Caribbean T/20.

Two of the three are T20 leagues, and the third is first class, four day cricket league.

As the Cricket Geek pointed out on All Out Cricket, 2012 taught us that domestic leagues such as the BBL and the IPL are growing and very well could be here to stay. And that point is driven home by the fact that three domestic leagues are available to watch online here in the USA – two of which are pop-up leagues taking advantage of the T20 format’s popularity.

Most will say that too much cricket is a problem. And I agree. I have said it before on countless occasions and I will keep saying it because I firmly believe that too much cricket dilutes the game and creates meaningless matches – and meaningless matches are ripe for match-fixing or at the very least accusations of match-fixing.

That said, I think the franchises are here to stay.

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A few days ago I said that Test cricket’s time has come.

I still believe that.

But I also believe that that future lies in strong, domestic leagues.

I don’t think a T20 league in every country featuring a handful of mercenaries is the long term future, but I think it is the short term future. However, the cream I think will rise to the top and in 15-20 years we will be left with a handful of very strong and very competitive leagues. And these leagues will not only be a part of the long term success of the sport overall, they will be integral.

A short term sacrifice for a long term solution.

And I think they will become so successful that meaningless and lopsided two Test series between a number one ranked team and a number seven ranked team will go away forever, and be replaced with First Class leagues.

I am picturing a bastard love child of the County Championship and the Indian Premiere League: that’s the future of first class cricket.

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In a discussion about the future of Tests on Twitter, @Chrisps01 of Declaration Game mentioned that of all the sports he follows, International Football is the most out of step with the times. And I wholeheartedly agree. The days of lines in the sand being the end all, be all of politics are over. Fervent nationalism, though still a massive player in most geo-political circles, is going away, slowly but surely.

I have written about this before.

Club football is vastly more popular and more entertaining than international football.

And because of this, slowly but surely, football’s World Cup will go away, and be replaced by global versions of the Champions League (the World Club Cup is a blue print, but I am picturing something that is more than just a cash grab). And I feel that this same trend will happen in international cricket, too.

The Ashes will always exist, as will other long term and hotly contest rivalries such as India v Pakistan, but long, tedious tours in empty stadiums will go away, and be replaced by franchise cricket leagues in ALL formats.

This will not happen overnight, and it might not even happen in our lifetimes, but it is the future of the game.

The world might be ready for Test cricket, but in it’s current incarnation, Test cricket is not ready for the world. The T20 format has some ideas on how to go about getting it ready, however, and hopefully Test cricket is paying attention.

Yesterday, I eulogized Test cricket.

Today I do the opposite.

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In Minneapolis yesterday morning, it was around eight degrees Fahrenheit (minus thirteen Celsius) with a light wind out of the southwest. I woke up at 6:30am, walked the dog, fed the dog, dressed in layer after layer of wool, left my car in the driveway, and rode my fixed gear bicycle the six and a half miles to the office – just as I do every other day.

It was a perfect morning for a ride. The cold temperatures kept away the slush, and the sun made it feel warm, even though it wasn’t.

The ride took me about 35 minutes, but I don’t go very fast.

If I drive, it takes me about 10 minutes.

15 if I stop for coffee.

When I worked at my old job, I would ride about three times a week, despite the fact that it was a 40 mile round trip, and would eat up about three hours of my day – while driving would eat up only about 45 minutes. It was, however, utterly and completely worth it.

And the thing is: I am not alone. Not in the slightest. In my city, and it cities across the globe, people are choosing their bikes over their cars, despite the fact that is a vastly slower form of transportation.

Even Lebron James is getting in on the act.

And the bicycle is just one small facet of a growing trend: People are interested in slowing everything down a bit.

This video, while an attempt at humor, sums it up perfectly:

Everywhere I look, not just in Portland, people are forgoing modern conventions and seeking out, well, the 1890s. A time and place where the 20th century with all of its disease and war and soot never happened.

And this makes think: maybe Test cricket’s day has finally come.

The game has been fighting against time and progress since its birth. But now with muttonchops and slow food and yoga and backyard chicken coops and homebrewing…maybe the world is finally ready to accept this anachronistic, five day long, slow moving, slow turning, slow building, bat and ball sport.

Wright Thompson talked about this in his long form piece for ESPN. And I agreed in my rebuttal post.

But my post was almost a year ago, and the trend has only increased over the last 12 months.

Every one I know makes beer at home and seeks out local shops and products. They are rejecting the modern conventions of NOW NOW NOW and FAST FAST FAST. And while this has yet to translate to entertainment or sport, it would follow that sooner or later, if the trend continues, people are going to seek a sport that exists, as Mr. Thompson put it, “outside the tyranny of money and time.”

Of course, the people who are involved in the trend are a small minority – mostly Generation Xers who aren’t sure if they belong in the massive generation that came before them (the boomers) or the even more massive generation that came after them (the millenials) – and the corporate machine that drives popular culture is probably going to win this war in the long run, but that does not change the fact that people want to grow their own food, brew their own beer, make their own bread, and ride their bicycles to the store. And these same people, I feel, would truly embrace the gift that is Test cricket.

Again, to quote Wright Thompson (ignoramus that he is, he gets it): “When (Mike) Marqusee describes the pleasure of attending a Test match, he lingers on the way he’s able to think. In the white spaces. I think about the silence at Lord’s, and I understand. Test cricket is different from the rest of the world because it was designed to be.”

Of all the sports in the world today, none of them fit into this mold, this trend, more so than Test cricket. They are all so frenetic, so corporate, so LOUD, so fast. And by “they” I mean the other formats in cricket, as well.

Test cricket however, and first class county cricket, deliver what the world is aching for: no pop music, no floodlights, no pumped in crowd noise; just 22 men in white, on a field of green, absent from time itself. A sport to contemplate and enjoy without constant bombardment on your senses.

It is an anachronism surely; but so are bicycles.

Plus you get to bring your own beer into the ground.

And the players wear sweaters.

All due respect to Portland, the dream of the 1890s is alive and well on cricket grounds the world over.

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“A long long time ago
I can still remember how (the cricket) used to make me smile”

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Yesterday, South Africa shellacked New Zealand by an innings and 27 runs inside three days.

Sometime tonight, or maybe tomorrow, Australia is going to complete their three match whitewash of Sri Lanka.

What it comes down to is there are a couple decent Test sides right now (England, maybe Australia, maybe Pakistan), one really magnificent Test side (South Africa) and a whole lot of really mediocre to terrible test sides (India, Sri Lanka, New Zealand, Zimbabwe, The West Indies, Bangladesh).

What is going on?

Over on Twitter, Addie Kumar suggested that “weak test sides” is doublespeak for countries that don’t perform in alien conditions; while I have argued in the past that there is a direct correlation between Test success and number of Tests played (duh-doy). Meanwhile Devanshu of Deep Backward Point thinks more Tests is not the answer, but rather teams should only play teams of their same skill level, in order to improve. Throwing New Zealand to the South African lions, so to speak, does no one any good. Have them play Sri Lanka or Bangladesh or even Ireland instead. (See his comment on my post linked to above.)

No matter what the answer is, it is killing the format.

Twenty/20 is not killing Test cricket; Test cricket is committing slow ritual suicide.

The Test cricket future could be what we have now in the La Liga, the English Premiere League, and until recently, the Scottish Premiere League: a two horse race, year in and year out.

That, to me, is troubling.

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Just how bad are some Test sides?

A simple look at their 2012 form tells the story:

Team	Tests	Win	Lose	Draw	Win %	W/L
Australia	11	7	1	3	0.636	7
Pakistan	6	3	1	2	0.500	3
West Indies	10	4	4	2	0.400	1
England	15	5	7	3	0.333	0.71
India	9	3	5	1	0.333	0.6
Sri Lanka	10	3	5	2	0.300	0.6
New Zealand	10	2	6	2	0.200	0.33
Bangladesh	2	0	2	0	0.000	0
Zimbabwe	1	0	1	0	0.000	0
South Africa	10	5	0	5	0.500	n/a

(Note: “Win Percentage” is an American convention. It is simply the number of wins divided by the number of total games and usually expressed as a three digit decimal, not a percentage. If you look up any table in America, you will see it. It is what I am comfortable with, and so that is what I use. If it offends your math sensibilities, then I apologize. W/L is a Cricinfo stat. Number of wins divided by number of losses.)

– Only one team finished undefeated (South Africa).

– Only four teams won more games than they lost (Australia, Pakistan, The West Indies, and South Africa)

– Only three teams finished “above .500” (Australia, Pakistan, and South Africa)

– Despite England’s recent resurgence in India, I do not see them mentioned in any of the three bullet points above.

Now, the above is a very small sample size, I will admit that, and using the American convention of “winning percentage” is problematic as it does not account for draws (in American sports, there is no such as a draw), but the numbers do not lie: 2012 was a terrible year for most Test nations, and it could be the death knell for the format overall, unless teams begin to improve their form – which is far more expensive for most national boards, especially when the format is no longer financially viable outside of England.

In 40 years I think we will look back at 2012 and agree that’s there where Test cricket started truly dying.

Let’s hope I am wrong.

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I am pleased to present the first annual Limited Overs World Cricket Awards:

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Match of the Year:

This is going to come as a surprise to my regular readers, but the match of the year, in my opinion, was not a Test, or even an ODI, it was a Twenty20. And the winner is:

India vs Pakistan, 1st T20I, at Bangalore.

The match really did have everything: two old enemies engaging in a bilateral series for the first time in over four years. It had, in the words of the Cricinfo ball by ball commenter: “Collapses, fightbacks, flare-ups, tension.”

It was India v Pakistan in a T20 under the floodlights in front of 70,000 fans plus millions more worldwide watching on satellite TV, on legal streams, on illegal streams…in the USA, in Australia, in England. The whole of world cricket sat down for three hours to watch. And we were not disappointed.

India v Pakistan, in a T20, under the floodlights. It looked like cricket’s future and its past and its present all at the same time.

The future of cricket depends on this rivalry and on this format. And for that reason alone it deserves this award.

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Honorable mention: see next award.

Test of the Year:

I added this category at the last minute because a test match did not win the Match of the Year award.

And the winner is:

England v South Africa, 3rd Test, at Lord’s.

The match went the distance, and it included a spirited final day fight back from the English, though it was in vain in the end.

It was Lord’s in August, number one vs number two, and it ended England’s short and disastrous reign as the number one Test side.

It included a lovely 95 from Jonny Bairstow, a match winning century from Hashim Amla (who was enjoying the summer of his life), and a hard earned and spirited 73 from England’s wicketkeeper, Matt Prior.

The match launched South Africa into the difficult role as the number one Test side, a status which they defended and cemented a few months later in Australia.

Most importantly, the match was final Test of a three Test series, and one could not wonder what these two teams could have done with five or even four tests.

It was a prime example of how three Test series are disappointing and terrible for the Test format overall; and a reminder that three Test series are becoming the norm.

I realize the irony of the above paragraphs considering my Match of the Year was of the format that is supposedly killing Test cricket.

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Honorable mention: Australia v South Africa, 2nd Test, at Adelaide Oval

Series of the Year

And the winner is:

The 2012 ICC World Twenty20

This tournament, while not really a series per se, won not because of the cricket itself, but because of its winner: The West Indies. Their first World Cup win since 1979.

Cricket needs a strong West Indies, and here’s hoping this victory inspires another generation of young Caribbean cricketers to pick up the leather and the willow.

And not only did they win it, they won it with style.

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Honorable mention: Pakistan v England, Three Test Series

Knock of the Year

Despite picking KP’s knock at Leeds as my second favorite moment on the pitch this year, the winner is:

Hashim Amla’s 311 not out against England at the Oval

I wrote it about it here:

“This 29 year old, quiet, devout young man walked out onto a ground 10,000 miles from his home, that was built 148 years before he was born, and on a perfect July weekend on the far edge of the world’s greatest city, simply batted for 790 minutes, a hair over 13 hours, scoring 311 runs along the way.”

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Honorable mention: KP’s 149 against South Africa at Leeds

Team of the Year

This is an easy one:

South Africa

They went to England as number two, and they left as number one. They then went to Australia and cemented that status.

They did all of the above with grit, courage, style, and spirit – and they did it despite losing their wicketkeeper in a freak accident one day before the first Test in England – and they did it without losing a single Test.

And for a short period over the summer, they were also the number one ODI team.

They played 38 total matches, winning 21, losing 10, drawing five, with two no results.

And they show no signs of slowing down.

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Honorable mention: The West Indies

Cricketer of the Year

This is the only controversial pick:

Kevin Pietersen

He didn’t score the most runs this year, not by a long shot, that honor went to Michael Clarke’s outstanding 2,251 in all formats, but he did score a lot: the fourth most Test runs (1,051), and the 14th most runs in all formats (1,446).

And his teams did not have the greatest of seasons: England’s struggles in 2012 are well documented, the Delhi Daredevils were knocked out in a preliminary final despite a fine regular season, and his County side, Surrey, finished the campaign trophy-less.

However.

His retirement from one-day cricket, followed by the ECB dropping him from the Test squad, followed by his reinstatement to all formats, goes to show that the power of the national boards is slipping away, while the power of the individual players continues to grow.

KP’s retirement in the future will be looked as the beginning of a player-led revolution.

It was a game changer.

He said to the ECB: I am bigger than you. I am more important than you. You don’t own me. And I don’t need you.

He didn’t score the most runs, his teams didn’t win anything, but his year was by far the most important to the future of the game, and therefore well deserving of this award.

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Honorable mention (tie): Michael Clarke, Hashim Amla, and Sachin Tendulkar.

There were two deaths over the last couple of days that I would like to make note of.

First of all, there was former England captain and announcer, Tony Greig.

I did not know Tony as a player. But I wholeheartedly enjoyed his commentary, and his Twitter feed. His death on Friday was sudden and heartbreaking. I have a hard time reading back over his recent tweets. They sound so hopeful and in that hope lies the tragedy and the sadness. He was going to watch the Boxing Day Test with his son. It didn’t go the full five days, which most of us bemoaned; but at least Tony got to see one final result.

His tweets remind me of some e-mails I received from my Uncle Mike in his last days. Guarded hope and every day annoyances.

Singer Fiona Apple, in a letter to fans cancelling a tour, discussed how we should learn to treasure, not fear, our last few days. I guess I do and do not believe that. I like the fact that Tony Greig, and my Uncle Mike, got to spend their last few days just doing the things they have always done…watching cricket, designing pens…instead of spending all of their time treasuring something as vast and wide and complicated as life in the shadow of its own ending.

At the same time, for my family, and for Tony Greig’s, it would have been nice to have had a chance to say goodbye.

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I did not know Tony, as a player, as a teammate, as a captain, as a friend, or as a father. But I did know him. As I posted when Tom Maynard was killed earlier this year:

“Some people will cast spurious glances at those of us who grieve when celebrities die – but I think it is perfectly okay to mourn those in the spotlight, even if they were not close friends or family. Their lives touch ours in very unique ways, and so it follows that their deaths would do so, as well.”

I stand by that statement. And I will add that when celebrities die, it reminds us of who we have lost; which is something worth being reminded of.

Rest in peace, Mr. Greig.

Rest in peace, Uncle Mike.

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The second death was, of course, the death of Damini in Singapore.

I read the news as I was posting my year end review the other day. I felt churlish and silly. I cannot comprehend her pain; my dark moments are sunshine and roses compared to her positively hellish final weeks on this planet.

And I am not going to comment on the cultural aspects involved here. I am not qualified to. And speaking as an American, and considering our cultural “problems” that were laid bare in Sandy Hook earlier this month, I really do not have a right to speak: to denounce, to demean. And, as evidenced in our election season, Americans have their own issues with regard to how women are treated.

I will say this, however, because it concerns cricket, and that’s what this blog is about, even if it seems flippant at this moment to do so: if India wants a seat at the table, if it wants to be taken seriously, then this needs to stop.

And by table, all mean all tables: politics, economics…and sport.

I get asked a lot if cricket will ever take off in America. And the answer is now a maybe but also now includes a final qualifier:

Stop treating women like you do.

Stop it.

Stop it now.

And even if you don’t want a seat at the table, even if you don’t want cricket to work in in America:

Stop treaking women like you do.

Stop it.

Stop it now.

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A lot happened this year.

A lot.

Sachin Tendulkar retired from one day cricket. Ricky Ponting retired. Rahul Dravid retired. Mark Boucher retired. And that list goes on for a bit, but no longer includes, strangely enough, Kevin Pietersen.

Meanwhile, a crop of cricketers spent the year entering the most brilliant periods of their young careers: Michael Clarke, Alastair Cook.

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The West Indies won a one-day World Cup.

India collapsed. In Australia,  and in India.

England collapsed. In the UAE, and in England.

South Africa cemented their status as world number one.

And Pakistan started a bilateral series against India for the first time since 2008.

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Sachin Tendulkar, after what was surely the most agonizing and frustrated period of his career, hit his 100th international century.

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My favorite blog post of the year was “All Ten” from the Old Batsman.

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My favorite blog post that I wrote was probably this one.

My most read blog post was this one.

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I have doubled my monthly page views since January.

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I posted 161 times. A little less than one post every other day. Not the rate I was hoping for at the beginning of the year, but pretty good by my own standards and considering that, up until October, I was going to school and working full time.

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My wife released her second album.

To rave reviews.

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We got a new dog. I got a new job.

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This post contains my 2012 blog related resolutions. Except for number six, I accomplished none of them.

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The best decision I made all year, blog related, was to stop it with the confusing blog titles already.

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I was asked to write a book review by Graywolf Press.

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I started the World Cricket Internet Schedule for U.S. Viewers.

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My favorite moment, cricket wise, and not related to this blog, of 2012, was the very first ball of the Australian summer this past November.

Second was Kevin Pietersen’s century against South Africa at Leeds.

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This was also the year I learned that Kevin Pietersen’s middle name is Peter.

Kevin Peter Pietersen.

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In 2012, there were two Test triple centuries and eight Test double centuries.

There were three Test seven-fers, from the most unlikely sources: Ajmal, Broad, and Southee.

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And that, in so many words, was the year. In cricket, and here on the blog. I am sure I missed the five biggest cricket stories, if not the 10 biggest, and I am also quite that this will be the lamest, and most self serving, year end review you will read all week.

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What I did not mention was that this year, as I have alluded to on several occasions, was a very, very difficult year for me, personally. I am not going to go into detail, because it is really not that exciting, but the worst part of all it is that it is all self induced.

I am in a dark place because of my own mistakes.

And that can be a tough pill to swallow.

The good news is that things are getting better, and better, and despite everything I was able to be an active part of this amazing cricket blogging community. The fact that I was able to write over 150 posts this year despite school, despite everything, goes to show that this place is my refuge, my sanctuary. And while I may write about Hashim Amla, I have found it is just as cathartic as writing about anything else.

The good days are the days I post.

And that is why I am not going to write a list of my 2013 blog related resolutions. Because there is only one:

Keep writing about cricket.

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This weekend I will post my 2012 Awards. Cricketer of the year, match of the year…etc. Keep an eye out. And thanks for reading.